


New Beginnings

by XxWhiteWolfxX



Series: The Adventures of Dain Mahariel [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Halla (Dragon Age), Ostagar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:52:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7987525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxWhiteWolfxX/pseuds/XxWhiteWolfxX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dain Mahariel's story continues...</p><p>Dain finds himself in mourning and meeting more and more shems. Will he ever let go of his hate of them? Can he learn to forgive himself? Most importantly, will he ever find Tamlen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. JOURNEY TO A NEW LIFE

The Warden Duncan and I leave the camp, heading southwest. I hang my head in sorrow, wishing I could go back to that morning and tell Tamlen we weren’t going hunting or refuse to listen to the shems words of a ruin. _Stupid, stupid Dain you should have known…_ my internal war is interrupted when my companion speaks.

“It will take us about twelve days to reach Ostagar.” The shem says looking in my direction. I guess he is expecting an answer because as I walk on, without answering, I hear him sigh and follow.

The first day of travel passes in silence. My thoughts are on Tamlen and Merrill, _my family_. We are all alone in the world now. I worry about Merrill, especially; she has always been delicate but Tamlen I feel I have abandoned. _How could I not have searched more? I should slip away from the shem and search for you. Why was it not me?!_ The tears will not come any more and I find myself questioning everything _. Why would the Creators save me? If I leave now will Merrill even know that I died?_ I sigh audibly, _if becoming one of the shems… Duncan’s Wardens maybe they can help me find you, Tamlen, or even your b-body_ , even my thoughts stumble on the word and I look at the sky, _I will gladly endure all the pain that may come with it. I will never stop looking for you._

On the third night, _is it the third night?_ My days are running together and in grief I find it hard to care enough to keep track _._ Regardless of the day  we decide to camp in a clearing on the edge of a cliff, the forest surrounds us and it is almost peaceful. I look at my companion as if coming out of a daze. The shem... _Warden_ , I correct myself, is fairly nice. _I did promise Merrill to try to be nice to him_.  _He doesn’t press me and seems grateful for the game I bring in for meals._ I sigh internally and walk over to the fire he had started with the wood I had gathered and sit down across from him.

“Serannas,” I say in a soft voice. I clear my throat as he looks at me in surprise, “Thank you for helping me. It doesn’t make us friends but I do know you could have lied to the Keeper about knowing a cure.”

“Why are you so angry with me then?” He asks in a deep voice and his forehead wrinkles in confusion.

I sigh, “You are not Dalish and all my experience with you shems, sorry,” I correct myself in exhaustion trying to keep from slipping in elvish he wouldn’t understand, “with you humans has never been good. I wish not to be hostile with you as I made a promise to Merrill to try.”

Understanding crosses his face, “Your father...” he begins looking at the fire. I stiffen and close off instantly.

“Is not your concern,” I reply coolly interrupting his assessment. “I will try but I can not be your friend now.” I stand up and walk into the forest wanting nothing more than to disappear. The next few days pass without much incident and Duncan and I slowly develop a routine of small talk.

As we walk through the trees on our sixth day, I see a wild Halla. I bow my head to the beast and it stares back at me. I whisper, “Ghilan’nain guides us on our journey.”

 I am so focused on the Halla disappearing into the forest I didn’t hear Duncan approach, “Who is Ghilan’nain?” I turn around and look at the Warden.

“A Creator,” I say shortly and continue walking.

“And what might that be?” he asks curiously, following closely.

I roll my eyes, “Don’t you have any other Dalish in your wardens?”

“They are not my wardens, but yes we do. I just never got close to any. I am, however, curious about it all,” It is surprising and a little annoying to me how easily he keeps up with me. Most humans bumbled through the woods making all kinds of noise, but not this one.

Turning, I glare and study the Warden, “The Creators are our Gods and Goddess’. Ghilan’nain is the Goddess of navigation and mother of Halla.” I say motioning toward where the Halla had disappeared.

He tilts his head in contemplation and then asks me, “What are your other Gods and Goddess’?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, “Why do you care?”

“I am merely curious.”

I look into his eyes and see nothing conspiratorial; _well it’s just the Creators_ … Slowly I explain our pantheon as best as I can and so we spent the day. He would ask a question and I would answer him, against my better judgement, while trying to figure out why he would care.

“So, serannas means thank you but ma serannas means my thanks? Where does the you disappear to?” He asks with a confused smile.

“It just goes,” I say with a little laugh. Surprisingly, Duncan’s questions had set me at ease and our uneasy standoffish beginning had started to become a more relaxed journey. I still don’t trust him but I am slowly learning that this shem isn’t so bad. “You’re looking at me funny. Our language makes more sense than your language!”

“Well, yours does sound better,” Duncan laughs and rubs his hand over his beard as he sits down by the fire. I shake my head; I would never understand the beard. It looks itchy. Tonight we decided to camp near a river and we both had a nice bath, separately of course. I look into the fire feeling terrible for laughing after what happened. I wonder how Merrill is doing and where Tamlen may be, worrying about both of them nearly constantly.

Duncan asked, “Would you like to tell me of Merrill?”

My head snaps upward and I tense, unprepared for the question and narrow my eyes, “Why do you want to know about her.”

Duncan shrugs, “She seemed like a nice girl and I thought you might be worrying about her. You were grimacing at the fire. It is fine if you do not wish too.” He glances away uneasy.

I ease a bit, _what would it hurt_? I look back into the fire, “What do you want to know?”

“Anything you want to share,” he says as he looks over the fire at me. I think for a moment and smile slightly.

“I met Merrill when I was 16. She was the third mage in her clan and had to be transferred to another clan or be sent away.” I see his look of confusion and explain, “Each Dalish clan usually only has one Keeper and one First at a time to protect the clan from the dangers of abominations. It’s not unusual though for a Keeper to take a second if they want.” He nods his understanding and I continue. “We met at Arlthven, a big meeting of all the clans we have every ten years, when our Keeper took her in. We had none born with magic and she needed a first. I still remember seeing her for the first time, she was terrified and her green eyes were wide. We didn’t really become a family until we made our way back to our home.” I pause and laugh, smiling truly for the first time in days, “Tamlen and I were out fishing when a rustling in the bushes caught our attention. It turned out to be a deer with a torn vine wrapped around its back leg and it started squealing as soon as it saw us. Merrill must have been walking nearby and heard the commotion because there we were bent over a bush a small dagger in my hand, a squealing animal, and some blood on our hands. She immediately started in on us about how cruel we were. I bent over and sliced the vine off the deer’s leg and when she saw it run away she realized what happened she blushed and ran away! Tamlen and I laughed about it and when we got back to camp we had lunch with her and we all became inseparable. Well, most of the time anyway…” I trail off thinking of Tamlen again.

“She sounds lovely, were you two together?” he asks pulling me from my thoughts.

“No. She deserves far more than anything I could ever give her.” I say shortly. “What about you? What is your past Duncan?”

He sighs and throws another log into the fire, “It is not a glamorous tale I’m afraid. I got caught stealing something and was sentenced to death, a Warden conscripted me right before they killed me and now here we are.”

I can sense that he isn’t sharing everything. _A thief wouldn’t be killed outright even in a shem city, would they?_ I decide not to press him, yet.

“We should arrive at Ostagar tomorrow.” He says as he reaches for the rabbit I caught earlier that now roasts over the fire.

“Tell me about Ostagar. Is it a warden base?” I ask truly curious about this Ostagar.

“Once it belonged to Tevinter. When Tevinter tried to conquer they made it far but ultimately were pushed back. Ostagar was built to watch the southern border and now it serves as a visual marker of just how far south they made it and it sits in a naturally defensible positon so the Kings army uses it to defend against the darkspawn horde that is approaching.” Duncan is looking into the fire, not really seeing it any longer as a worried expression settles on his face.

“Darkspawn horde?” I ask, tilting my head in confusion.

“I’m afraid we may have a Blight on our hands. The signs are becoming clearer,” he says more to himself than to me. He is lost in his thoughts for a moment but finally shakes his head and realizes who he is speaking with. More confused than ever I decide to ask him about what the hell he means but before I can Duncan looks over the fire at me, “But that is best saved for after you join our ranks.”

“Why would you want a Dalish human hater among your ranks?” I ask the question that had been bothering me since we left my clan, momentarily distracted from the Blight.

Duncan looks surprised but quickly composes himself, “I saw the spiders and the Bereskarns’ body. Only someone skilled with a weapon could do such damage. Not only will you be a valuable asset but I also like your spirit.”

I look down in pain, “I did not do it alone, Duncan. I had Tamlen…” My voice breaks on his name.

Duncan answers in a softer tone, “I know no one can replace him but when you join us you are also joining a family. I hope you are willing to accept them.” with that the Warden rises and walks to his tent ending any further questions I want to ask.


	2. OSTAGAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The massive doors are open and seem to be welcoming everyone into the fortress. I walk through the gates and take a good look at my new life.

                                                   

 

We walk out of the forest and onto a road. I can tell it has only recently been used frequently and say so to Duncan.

“Until recently there has been no need to use Ostagar,” Duncan says, surprise showing in his face. “We call this The Imperial Highway. It will take you to all of the major cities of Ferelden.”

“I am a hunter, Duncan. It was my job to track.” I say in explanation to his surprise. _Was… it sounds so final, so sad. What would I do for the Wardens? Kill darkspawn obviously but what else?_ “Will I track for the Wardens? What do Wardens do when they aren’t killing darkspawn?” I ask, suddenly realizing how little I knew of them.

Duncan laughs deep in his throat, “There is no shortage of darkspawn, Dain. You will know all about us soon enough.” The woods surrounding us seem too quiet and I start to warn Duncan that something isn’t right when we round a corner and abruptly the woods end. I stare dumbfounded at the sight before me.

The enormity of the place takes my breath away. _I wonder how long it took to build_. I look at the giant fortress and have to turn my head side to side to be able to see the extent of it. It stands proudly between the hills to the north, the Brecilian Passage at the eastern border, the Korcari Wilds at the south, and the mountains to the western portion. The entrance is set to the east. _Tamlen would love this!_ I stop short with the thought but press on, _I will find him!_

We continue along the road as it turns into a stone laid path that curves to the right so we have to walk along the front of the fortress. I look around at the stones and see they are a rich grey/brown color, from age or by design I cannot tell, and set perfectly together to strengthen the walls they create. Looking up I can’t tell when the wall ends it’s so high. As I walk through the gate I get goosebumps thinking of the battles waged here. We are stopped short of entering when a strange shemlen walks toward us. He has on golden heavy armor and blonde hair, half of which is pulled back in a tie. I regard him suspiciously, he must be important because two armed guards follow him closely.

“Ho there, Duncan!” the shiny shemlen says as he stops in front of us.

“King Cailan?” I whip my head toward Duncan in surprise then carefully study this King of shemlen. _He doesn’t seem like much…_ “I didn’t expect…”

“A royal welcome,” he interrupts Duncan with a small laugh. I narrow my eyes slightly at the rudeness, “I was beginning to worry you’d miss all the fun!” I study the King, his stance is relaxed and that worries me _. If we have a darkspawn horde headed this way shouldn't he be a little worried?_

“Not if I could help it your majesty.” Duncan answers. I watch their exchange with interest. _Perhaps I can use this King to find Tamlen…_

 _“_ Then I’ll have the mighty Duncan at my side in battle after all! Glorious! The other wardens tell me you’ve found a promising recruit. I take it this is he?” I see Duncan tense slightly and internally I roll my eyes at how naïve the _King_ sounds and how annoying it is that Duncan knows me well enough to worry about my response. _Or perhaps not, has this King ever actually seen battle?_ Instead of telling the shemlen how stupid he sounds I take my que from Duncan and try my best to be polite.

“Allow me to introduce you, your Majesty,” Duncan says as he turns toward me, catching my eye and silently pleading with me to be nice. I send him a wicked grin quickly and then smile politely at the shem King.

“Might I know your name?” I am surprised at his politeness toward an elf.

“Andaran atish’an, I am called Dain, your Majesty,” I say crossing my arms over my chest and slightly bowing. _I need them for Tamlen_ , I repeat over and over in my head.

“Pleased to meet you,” the King says with a slight nod of his head, “The Grey Wardens are desperate to bolster their numbers, and I, for one, am glad to help them. You are Dalish are you not? I hear your people possess remarkable skill and honor.” I am genuinely surprised by his words.

“Really, I thought all humans thought of us as vermin?” My eyes grow wide as I realize what I said _. Stupid mouth!_ To my surprise and releif the King laughs.

“To be fair your people are a bit… standoffish,” the King looks toward me as if expecting me to throw a punch and quickly adds, “Not that I blame you, of course. You are most welcome here and I know the Wardens will benefit greatly with you amongst them.” My eyes narrow automatically but luckily the King turns toward Duncan. _Rehearsed speeches mean shit_ , I think to myself. “I’m sorry to cut this short but I am needed back in my tent.”

“Your uncle sends his greetings and reminds you Redcliff’s forces could be here in less than a week.” Duncan adds before the King can leave.

“Eamon just wants in on the glory,” My eyebrows shoot up; _If we are facing a horde of darkspawn shouldn’t we wait for a shit ton of people to fight them?_ “We’ve won three battles against the monsters and tomorrow should be no different,” the King says sounding a bit disappointed.

“You sound very confident,” I say cautiously. Duncan sounded worried when he spoke of the horde so I was hesitant to believe this shemlen could win against the creatures so easily.

“Overconfident, some would say, right Duncan?” The shemlen King laughs lightheartedly. _I’m beginning to wonder how the hell shemlen remain in control if they have leaders like this… Unless it’s a ruse, very clever if so._

“Your Majesty, I’m not certain the Blight can be ended as quickly as you may wish,” Duncan looks at the ground seemingly uneasy and I am surprised. _Why are humans so careful around their leaders? In our camp if we had a concern we spoke frankly to one another. Our Keeper acts as our leader but doesn’t lord over us. Shemlen are strange_ , I conclude.

The King looks at Duncan as if he is annoyed, “I’m not even sure this is a true Blight. We haven’t even seen any sign of an archdemon.” The king pouts as if displeased.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” I ask completely confused.

The king steps away and a far off look settles on his face, “I’d hoped for a war like in the tales; a King riding with the fabled Grey Wardens against a tainted God!” A smile spreads across his face then falls as he sighs disappointingly, “but I suppose this will do. Now I really must go. Farewell, Grey Wardens.” I watch as the King walks away, more confused than ever.

Turning to Duncan I can’t stop myself from asking, “ _That’s_ your king? He’s completely mental, he wants a fairytale battle and you are allowing him to lead?”

Duncan sighs, “Despite the victories the horde grows larger each passing day. They no doubt outnumber us now. There is an archdemon but I cannot ask the King to act solely on my feeling.”

“Why not, he pretty much hero worships you?” I ask in confusion.

Duncan gestures in front of him inviting me to walk with him. “He is one of the few allies the Grey Wardens have. Our numbers in Ferelden are too few and we need the King and his advisor Teyrn Loghain to make up the difference.” I nod in realization as to why Duncan was so diplomatic with him.

“So basically you deal with the crazy for the army he provides.”

“He is the King and though he seems naïve do not underestimate him.” Duncan seems exhausted for a moment but then shakes his head, “We need to see to your joining without delay. There are two others who will also go through the ritual with you. Feel free to explore the camp here but please remain in camp for now. When you are ready to proceed with the joining find Alistair and he will summon the other recruits. I have business to attend to until then but you may find me near the Grey Wardens tent should you need me.” I nod my understanding and try to prepare myself for what lies ahead as I walk onto the bridge to the main gate.

Looking at the archway above me I see two magnificently detailed statues with swords drawn; as if they are prepared to defend against any enemy. The long bridge that stretches out in front of me leading to the front gate is a bit yellow in color, reminding me slightly of gold. As we walk, I notice the trees off in the distance and marvel what it would have been like to live in a place like this. Suddenly the bridge widens as we pass two standing statues with a shield held casually in front of them sitting on the ground. The bridge has a large circle in the middle of it; my guess is to fight off any invaders before they reach the actual fortress gate. As I look to the south I notice a good portion of the circle gone. It looks as if something massive had hit it and the pieces had fallen to the oblivion below. I shake my head; trying to rid the image of the force responsible. On the northern side, another large detailed statue with a spear held casually to its side, stands proudly. There are two more statues leading out of the circular portion of the bridge and the bridge narrows again. The massive doors are open and seem to be welcoming everyone into the fortress. Slowly,I walk through the gates and take a good look at my new life.


	3. The Camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My editor is unavailable so I am editing these next chapters by myself. Please if you notice anything feel free to point it out to me!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!

 

The sound of steel hitting steel and arrows being released to my left remind me of the practices held back home and the familiar feeling of the energy from the mages practicing to my right reminds me of Merrill and a smile spreads across my face. I close my eyes and imagine I am home, if only for a moment. I imagine Tamlen and Merrill smiling around me as they go about their activities of the day. When I open my eyes the smile vanishes, I know I will never see them again. I take a deep breath and push the pain away. Putting one foot in front of the other, in determination, I continue to survey the camp. There are people everywhere and tents littered all around. I glance around with wide eyes and move to the left, deciding to make a loop around the camp so I know my way around. I walk near the Kings tent and am amazed at how large it is, much larger than any my clan had. The practice area is up the stairs between the Kings’ tent and Teyrn Loghains tent. Passing Loghains tent, I see Duncan by a huge fire speaking with several people but continue on, not wanting to interrupt. In the left hand corner I see a small gate with a guard to what I assume is the entrance to the Korcari Wilds, _think I’ll leave that alone for now._ I see the kennels as I start to curve to the right and decide to stop and see the Mabari’s kept there. I never got the chance to see one, though I had heard many tales of their bravery and intelligence as a child.

As I approach the kennels, I hear a warrior at one of the gates mumbling to himself, “I hate to waste such a promising member of the breed...”

“Everything okay here?” I ask trying not to startle him.

“Hmmm, actually I could use a bit of help. Are you one of the new Wardens?” Hope fills his voice as he looks at me.

“What do you need help with?” I ask, my eyes narrowing suspiciously as I look the soldier up and down, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“This Mabari’s owner died in the last battle and the poor hound swallowed some darkspawn blood.” He gestures to the gate with a pitiful look on his face, “I need him muzzled, to give him some medicine that may help him.”

I sigh and look at the gate, thoughtfully. “And you want me to muzzle him for you.” Rolling my eyes I turn back toward him, “Are you afraid to get bitten?” I ask sarcastically. Waving my hand at him dismissively I continue on effectively silencing any chance of an explanation from the shem, then I hold out my hand, “Just give me the muzzle.” I grab the muzzle from him as he holds it out for me, “Shemlen, always relying on others to do things for them…” I mumble to myself as I open the gate slowly.

I look toward the Mabari in the corner of the pen, careful not to make any sudden movements. The animal is large and a light brown color, looking into his amber eyes I instantly feel the intelligence radiating from them and my heart feels heavy at the pain the Mabari is in. _He will die without care_. I carefully approach him and silently ask permission to muzzle him. He stares back, a moment of indecision, then he relaxes his tense stance. Bending to one knee I place the muzzle on him and silently invoke Mythal to watch over him. I touch the animals’ cheek and look into his eyes once more then slowly stand. I pause as a wave of familiar weakness rushes through me. _Fuck, not again._ I blink slowly and in a breath it’s gone. I back toward the gate and as I open the gate to leave, I hear the Mabari whine softly.

“Well done, now I can treat the poor creature.” The guard says, sounding mildly impressed.

“Treat him well.” I warn the guard and give him a menacing glance, “He has given a lot to protect this camp and he deserves good care.”

The guard, surprised at my reaction, is silent for a moment then his eyes light up, “Are you going into the wilds?”

“I may be, why?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“Based on your reaction I’m hoping you might look for an herb while you’re out there. It’s all white with a blood red center. It could drastically improve his chances to survive.” The guard looks at me desperately.

“If I happen across any I will bring some back. I can’t promise I can find any though.” I look to the closed gate sadly.

“Thank you!”

I nod and continue on my journey around the camp.  _Poor thing is in so much pain, he deserves help._ I sigh and shake my head, _helping the helpless is part of being Dalish, I guess._

I laugh, strangely at the same time as someone else, looking up I see the source of the laugh is a man speaking to a soldier, as I get closer I realize he is hitting on her. Intrigued, I stand off to the side trying not to look like I’m eavesdropping.

“Any last…” He looks the woman up and down clearly appreciating the view, “wishes I can fulfill before you head into battle?” I roll my eyes, _like that will work_. “Life should be celebrated while you can! Your beautiful face could be decorating a darkspawn spear tomorrow.” The man flashes a smile and waggles his eyebrows. The woman fakes a gag at the man and he sighs, “I’ll take that as a no.” He calls to the woman as she walks away rolling her eyes, “Too bad, we could have had fun!” I can’t help the little laugh that escapes me.

“Well then,” he looks annoyed then brightens, “You must be the new recruit! You’re not what I thought you’d be.”

My eyes narrow automatically, “What exactly did you expect?”

“I’m not sure really.” He says with a shrug, “Have you heard anything about this ritual we are supposed to be doing?” He asks nervously.

I shrug, “Only that it’ll make us official Wardens.”

The man nods, “The names Daveth, by the way. Have you seen Duncan?”

“Dain,” I say with a nod. “Duncan is near the fire.” I watch the recruit walk away and can’t help shaking my head as I continue on. Pausing again as another wave causes me to lean against another set of stairs for a moment, _they are coming faster now._ I sigh and push away from the stairs in frustration, _might as well find this Alistair and get the joining underway. It’d be a shame to die before I can find Tamlen._

I walk up the stairs and see a long table to my left but no one is near it so I walk through the entrance to my right. As I enter the small space I see a man about my height, with dark blonde short hair, dressed in full armor speaking to a man in a robe that I assume is a mage.

“What is it now Grey Warden?” The robed man says. Intrigued now, I decide to wait so I can speak with this Warden.

“I am here to deliver a message from the revered Mother, Ser mage. She… desires your presence.” The blonde man says a bit nervously.

“What her Reverence desires is no concern of mine. I’m busy helping the Wardens. By the Kings orders I might add.” The mage straightens proudly at his words and I am honestly surprised he’s making a big deal about a message. I cock my head to the side and watch.

The man, who I believe is the Alistair Duncan sent me to find, stands more confidently and says sarcastically, “Should I have asked her to write a note?” One of my eyebrows arch but I stay silent and lean against the wall propping a foot up, _this should be interesting._

“Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner,” the mage says in a whiney voice.

“Yes, I was harassing _you_ by delivering a message,” Alistair literally rolls his eyes at the mage and I bite back a smile.

“Your glibness does you no credit.” The mage says angrily.

“Here I thought we were getting along so well!” Alistair spreads his hands gesturing to the mage, “I was even going to name one of my children after you, the grumpy one.”

“Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must; get out of my way you fool.” The mage stomps away. I’m half surprised he didn’t throw a tantrum right there.

Smiling sarcastically, his brown eyes turn to addresses me, “You know, one good thing about the blight is how it brings people together.”

“You’re a very strange shemlen.” I say with a slight smile as I push away from the wall and walk forward to converse with Alistair.

“Shemlen? Sounds like a disease.” He says with a mock shudder.

“Depending on the company it can be…” I say with a surprising laugh. “It means human.”

“Ah, not the first person to call me strange,” He says with a grin that changes into a confused expression. “We haven’t met have we?”

“I am Dain, Duncan sent me to find you.” I nod in his direction.

“Oh, right I apologize. My name is Alistair which you probably already know if Duncan sent you to find me… Anyway, as a junior member of the Wardens I will accompany you as you prepare for the joining. I have to ask, have you ever actually seen darkspawn?” Alistair looks at me and cocks his head to the side curiously.

I tense, “Yes.” I say sharply, folding my arms tightly across my chest. Mentally I berate myself, _how could I have forgotten, even for a moment, about Tamlen?_ Images flood my mind, the Eluvian, Tamlen, the bright light. I shake my head trying to get away from the memories and focus on what Alistair is saying.

“I’ve only fought them once up close and that was before the battles here began. Duncan has kept me out of them so far.” He says, sounding a mixture of relieved and disappointed. He looks at the ground nervously and shifts his weight from foot to foot. He looks up and asks quietly, “Tell me, did you find them as monstrous as I did?”

I wince and look into his eyes, “At first I did but I’d rather face darkspawn than somethings.” I say truthfully, thinking of Tamlen and Merrill. My heart constantly aches at their loss and I’m afraid that it will ever heal. In my opinion, the Darkspawns monstrosity pales in comparison to that pain.

I can tell he is confused by my meaning but he must see the pain on my face because he moves on quickly, “You’ll be at an advantage then. The others haven’t even seen a darkspawn.” He tries to seem positive about it and I appreciate the effort.

“Lucky them,” I grumble then say louder, “We should probably head back to Duncan.”

Alistair nods and waves me ahead with a smile, “Lead the way.”


	4. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost as if the happy moment had set the taint in my blood off another powerful wave hits me, nearly making me fall to my knees. Luckily, I am able to play it off by acting like I am switching my weight to my other foot. I look around as if the closeness of the two makes me uncomfortable and see the other two recruits walk up to us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my volunteer temporary editor Chistina! She probably wanted to smack me a couple of times for my silly mistakes! :)

Making our way back down the stairs, I feel the familiar rush of energy as we pass two rather large tents and see the mages practicing in an area blocked by armed men. The type of armor they wear is different than what I have seen the army and the Wardens in. Slowing, my curiosity gets the better of me.

“Who are those guards?” I ask, as I turn toward Alistair. I am surprised when a mature woman’s voice answers me instead.

“They are Templars dear.” Jumping slightly, I turn back around to locate who the voice belongs to. A rather beautiful older woman with deep icy, blue eyes smiles genuine and warmly at me, “You must be Dalish. My name is Wynne.” This Wynne has an ageless beauty to her that reminds me of Keeper Marethari. The only signs that betrayed her age are the lines on her face, the wisdom in her eyes, and the white hair she wore in a bun. I cannot help the easy smile that spreads across my face as I greet her formally.

“Andaran Atish’an, I am Dain.” I say, crossing my arms in a formal bow.

“Hey! Why does she get the bow thingy and pretty saying?” Alistair whines.

I roll my eyes and ignore him, “How did you know I am Dalish?” Alistair huffs unhappily but stays silent.

“Only a Dalish would not know a Templar by sight. Are you Duncan’s newest recruit?” I nod and she smiles and gestures to the mages practicing, “I am here with the mages at the Kings request. You should be proud. Duncan is not easily impressed.”

I smile slightly but as I remember why he is impressed with me, it fades. “It is nice to meet you Wynne but we should be going.”

“Yes I’m sure Duncan has more for you to do than stand around talking to an old woman,” She laughs and waves as we depart.

“Well, she seemed a little scary,” Alistair says.

“Scary?” I cock my eyebrow and look at him over my shoulder as we walk.

“Didn’t you get the feeling she would turn you into a toad if you misbehaved?” The look on my face must have answered his question, “No? Okay than just me…”

I begin to wonder if this is all just a weird hallucination and if I would wake up to Tamlen yelling at me for sleeping through the hunt that morning _. I can always hope_ … I shake my head once again as we walk toward the fire where the others are waiting, _what have you gotten yourself into this time, Dain?_ I can feel the taint building in my veins and I try my best to ignore it.

Duncan notices our approach and breaks away from the others around him and walks toward us. He smiles at me kindly, “I see you found Alistair, good. I assume you are ready to start making preparations for your joining?” Turning toward Alistair his smile turns into a disappointed glare, “Assuming, of course, you are done riling the mages, Alistair?”

“What can I say? The revered mother ambushed me?” Alistair says with a shrug and jokes lightheartedly, “The way she wields guilt they should stick her in the army.”

“She forced you to sass the mage, did she?” Duncan pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration and takes a deep breath. “We cannot afford to antagonize anyone, Alistair.” Duncan adds more calmly as he looks at us both, “We do not need to give anyone more ammunition to use against us.”

Realizing he made a mistake, his usual confident smirk fades and he looks at the ground meekly, “You’re right, Duncan. I… I apologize.”

Moving closer, Duncan places a hand on Alistair’s shoulder and Alistair chances a look at his face, “We all make mistakes, Alistair.” Duncan smiles at him and after giving it a reassuring squeeze, releases his shoulder. Watching the two of them interact reminds me of a father and son. I may not have had one of my own growing up but I had watched the families in my clan closely.

Almost as if the happy moment had set the taint in my blood off another powerful wave hits me, nearly making me fall to my knees. Luckily, I am able to play it off by acting like I am switching my weight to my other foot. I look around as if the closeness of the two makes me uncomfortable and see the other two recruits walk up to us.

“Now, I assume you’re all ready to begin?” Duncan asks.

“I am ready.” _The Keeper’s magic is fading, it’s now or never._ I sigh and roll my shoulders. Duncan looks from Alistair at the sound of my voice. The fatherly smile still on his face soon fades to a look of concern as he looks at my now pale face. I straighten then give him a reassuring nod and he slowly continues while watching me.

“You will be going into the Korcari Wilds to perform two tasks. First you will retrieve three vials of darkspawn blood, one for each recruit.” My eyebrows shoot up in curiosity but I remain silent knowing Duncan would explain in time… _Wait, what? Since when do I trust this shem?_ Slowly I realize I had not thought of him as a shem in quite a while. I look at Duncan in curiosity, _perhaps it’s because he is the only one I know here_ … _I mean I do respect him more than any other shemlen I’ve met…._ I shake my head at the absurdity of the thought that he might have become a friend to me, _nah; it’s just the respect of him saving my life. Yeah that’s it,_ with that decision made I turn my attention back to the conversation at hand.

One of the shemlen recruits I hadn’t met yet interrupts Duncan with a look of disgust on his face, “Why are we getting darkspawn blood?” He isn’t a very remarkable looking shemlen, easily forgettable in a crowd.

“For the joining, Ser Jory, I will explain more when you return.” Duncan says firmly. Dismissing the shem as a potential ally, I watch the exchange in boredom.

The shemlen seems in distress and looks around at us for help, “But, you must have acquired some by now?” I roll my eyes at him. _Is he afraid to face the darkspawn? He won’t last long with that attitude._

Duncan looks at him and I can tell his patience is wearing thin, “Of course we have,” after taking a deep breath he explains, “this is merely part of the joining. Just as what will come after you retrieve the blood, working as a team to acquire all of the necessary ingredients is important.”

The shem looks as if he is going to argue again so I step in, not wanting to listen to the whining, “You said we have _two_ tasks to complete?” I say, raising an eyebrow at Duncan.

“Yes, Dain,” Duncan looks at me gratefully and continues his explanation, “There is a Grey Warden ruin in the Wilds abandoned long ago when we could no longer afford to maintain such outposts. Recently, we have learned some scrolls may have been left behind. The scroll we need has been magically sealed and should be intact, Alistair you are to retrieve the scroll and you three are to assist him.” Alistair seems to perk up, hearing his name, and seems happy to be given an important task after his minor mishap with the mages.

I look at Duncan and my eyebrow raises curiously, “What kind of scrolls?”

“They are old treaties. When they were written it was more of a formality, promises made to aid the Grey Wardens. They will be useful to remind those who have forgotten the commitments made long ago.”

“And if they are no longer there?” The shem, Daveth, asks. I almost forget he is present due to his silence.

Duncan, conceding to his point, nods, “It is possible they were destroyed or stolen but the magic used should still protect them. Only a Grey Warden could break the seal.” _Impressive magic_ , I think, trying to imagine what could be done with such power. Magic has always been an interest of mine and a mutual love of history and magic had bonded Merrill and I when we had first met. I mentally shake myself away from the thought and try focus back on the conversation, willing away the pain it induced.

Alistair shakes his head at Duncan in disbelief, “I don’t understand _why_ such things would be left in a _ruin_ if it is so valuable?”

Duncan sighs, seeming to age before our eyes, and he tries to explain, “It was assumed we would return. A great many things were assumed that have not held true.” Shaking his head, he clears his throat before he continues, “The ruins are likely overgrown by now but Alistair will lead you to it with this map,” handing Alistair the map, he turns back to us, “Look for a sealed chest in the ruin and the scrolls should be inside.”

“Is this really necessary to become a Warden?” the shem, Jory, asks nervously as his eyes dart around and sweat beads on his forehead. _He’s terrified!_ I look him over curiously, _why is he here? Maybe he’s one of those shems who wants fame but not have to truly work for it? He surely doesn’t look like he is dying, maybe he was conscripted._ I shake my head in disgust at his cowardice. _A Dalish hunter is afraid of nothing_ , the phrase runs through my mind in Tamlen’s voice and I see his face for a brief moment. Too soon the image disappears and is replaced by the shemlen before me.

“No, but it is an effort that must be made. I have every confidence you all are up to the task.” Duncan’s gaze lingers on me and concern shows in his eyes as he looks at my face.

Knowing I must still be pale from the taint surging through my system and seeing Tamlen’s face, I joke, “Ok so fill three vials with darkspawn blood, the Wardens scroll, and don’t die, got it!” For good measure I add a cocky smirk.

Satisfied, he smiles at my remark and laughter shines in his eyes as he turns to Alistair. “Alistair, watch over your charges and return quickly and safely,” he says as he claps him on the shoulder and gives a fatherly smile.

“We will,” Alistair says turning to us with a confident smile.

“May the maker watch over your path,” Duncan says then he unexpectedly sends a small wink in my direction, “or Mythal. I will see you when you return.”

The sentiment catches me off guard and a smile spreads across my face at Duncan. _He remembers Mythal from our talks in the forest_. Showing I appreciate the gesture he made, I cross my arms and give him a formal bow, sending the man a wink as I rise. Walking towards the gate to the Wilds, a comforting thought crosses my mind; _finally time for some payback._ I touch the hilt of my sword in anticipation and with the surge of anger seeing Tamlen had given me, a wicked smile spreads across my face. _Better hide darkspawn._


	5. Korcari Wilds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to Christina who pushed me to continue this fanfic! <3 Love ya girl!

I move quickly in front of the others, rolling my shoulders in anticipation, as the guard lets us through the gate. A cool breeze moves softly through the leaves of the tall trees, none are as tall as the ones near my Clans camp but they are still tall, the white bark of their trunks at odds with the green foliage and dark earth. I walk through the trees slowly as my instincts from years of hunting kick in, it’s too quiet but there are still sounds of small critters running about. This forest isn’t as heavily wooded as the forest back home but the vegetation is much thicker. I hear a twig snap and stop, dropping into a crouch, glancing around carefully as the woods suddenly grow silent. Pulling my sword out as silently as I can, I continue to watch and wait.

I cringe as I hear one of the others very loudly draw his and say, “What is it? What do you see?” _The whiney shemlen, of course it was him…_

Alistair makes hushing motions at him but it’s too late. Four black and white wolves bound from the forest and attack. A small amount of disappointment fills me that they aren’t darkspawn but still, a fight is a fight. I dodge the wolf in front of me and see the others fighting. Deciding they can take care of themselves, I focus on the wolf currently attacking me. As the wolf lands on the hill where I had stood, it looks back at me and turns with a dangerous growl and I snarl at the beast in return. The wolf rushes forward gaining momentum from the hill, I quickly bring my sword down in an arc. The beast tries to dodge the sharp blade but its eyes widen as it realizes it’s too late. My blade slices through the beast’s neck and, as it falls, I turn to help the others. I watch as Alistair fells his wolf and helps the whiney shem with his. The other shem kills his in the next moment so I clean the blood from my blade and sheath it.

Alistair looks around at all of us, “Everyone ok?” We all nod to him and he smiles happily, “Good, I’d hate to lose anyone so early!”

I walk calmly but purposefully over to the whiney Shem and punch him hard in the jaw, “Are you trying to get us killed, shem?!” Alistair quickly pushes me away from the shem that is now rolling on the ground and Daveth laughs at us merrily. “When you are in unknown territory, frequented with darkspawn you stay silent.” I push away from Alistair and nearly shout, “Our len are better suited than this one!” I walk away grumbling to myself, “fucking shems are going to get me killed!” I rub my hand down my face and walk along the path without waiting on them.

I hear Alistair checking on the shem and cock an eyebrow at the other shem that catches up with me, “That was great! What does len mean?” Rolling my eyes at him, I reply shortly, “I didn’t do it for entertainment. Len means children.”

The shem Daveth laughs again, “Oh, that’s even funnier!”

I stop and look at the man, “Dalish are trained to be hunters. We learn the ways of the forest as soon as we are able to. It’s not funny, it’s a fact. I could kill all of you in a heartbeat and you’d never hear a sound.” I kick a rock in frustration. Travelling with Duncan has given me higher expectations of humans and I am quickly learning they aren’t all as knowledgeable as he is. These are the bumbling humans I expected him to be.

Daveth looks at me for a moment, “Why are you so intense? Lighten up a little!”

“This isn’t a place to ‘lighten up’.” I look around at the trees and continue walking. _Honestly, we are in the middle of the Wilds that have darkspawn in them and are complete strangers. How can anyone just lighten up…_

“How’d you get recruited?” the shem Daveth asked.

I tense but continue walking, “Unlucky, I guess.” Daveth looks at me funny but continues, “I was a cut purse, myself, and made the mistake of cutting Duncan’s purse,” he laughs and shakes his head at the memory, “That old man can run! The guards caught me first though and decided that I’d caused enough problems and it was time to hang me, they did. If Duncan hadn’t of conscripted me, I’d be dead by now for sure.” He looked back to the whiney shem, “What about you Ser Jory?”

“I was one of Arl Eamon’s knights. Duncan drafted me to join after I won a tournament in Highever.” He says proudly.

Daveth nods and looks to Alistair, “What about you?”

Alistair shrugs, “I was a Templar before. Now, I’m a Warden.”

“Seems everyone has a story, except you Dalish,” he looks at me expectantly.

I meet the shem’s curious eyes. “Wrong place at the wrong time,” I sneer at him and continue walking. _It isn’t any of their business how or why I came. They wouldn’t understand anyway._

“We aren’t that bad…” Alistair mumbles behind us and I find myself nodding in agreement. _Duncan isn’t horrible and I suppose Alistair isn’t either, Daveth I could tolerate, but I’d kill the whiney shem._

We continue on in silence for a ways. As we begin to round a corner in the overgrown trail a bloody soldier in front of an overturned wagon interrupts our path. Alistair and Jory run around us and move to his side as I keep an eye out for an ambush. The soldier rises up and begs us for help. Moving forward I pull my dagger from my boot to put him out of his misery and silently begin to send a prayer to Falon’din, when suddenly Alistair steps between me and the soldier.

“What are you doing?” he hisses at me.

I cock my head, “The soldier is hurt too badly to make it back to the camp and I have no bandages to help him,” my eyebrows furrow in confusion at the interruption. “It would be a mercy to kill him now.” _Honestly, has he never had to commit a mercy killing?_ Memories of friends and enemies alike flood my mind, _if he never has I envy him._

 _“_ You can’t just go around killing people! He’s a _person_!” He draws out the word like it might be foreign to me and I tilt my head curiously _._

“I am aware he is a person. He’s suffering and will die,” I state calmly and move to walk around him but he stands firm. Sighing, I look into his eyes, “Move or I will move you.” He allows me to walk around him without incident. “Mercy killings may not be easy but are sometimes necessary.” I bend down and place a hand on the soldiers shoulder, “Can you tell us what happened?”

The soldier groans painfully and whispers, “Grey… Wardens?” Alistair’s eyebrow raises at me. “My.. scouting band was attacked by Darkspawn. They…,” He pauses to catch his breath and push through the pain and horror, “Came out of the ground! Please help me. I’ve got to… return to camp.”

“With your injuries you won’t make it.” I say as gently as I can.

“I have bandages in my pack!” Alistair nearly yells and smacks his forehead.

“That would have been useful to know earlier.” I say as I narrow my eyes at him. I stand and search the area around the soldier while Alistair bandages him up, rounding the overturned wagon in some tall grass I see a large rock; I walk over to investigate and am surprised to see a flower. The same flower the handler had asked me to look for to help aid the injured Mabari. Smiling slightly, I carefully pick the flower and place it in my journal. Running my hand over the Halla that Tamlen and Merrill had burned into the cover as a present, I sigh sadly. _I miss them both_. I place it back in my pack and look up at the sky, _I promise I’m trying_.

“Dain,” I turn and see Alistair watching me, “He’s apparently not half as dead as he looks.” Smirking he adds, “He’s well enough to get to the gate alone.”

“Good. Let’s move on then,” I could care less whether the shem lives or dies.

********

Struggling for breath, I push against the grotesque Darkspawn on top of me. The clearing we had entered is littered with their bodies. The large, roughly human sized, Commander had headed straight toward me. I made the mistake of blocking when I should have dodged and now I’m pinned on the ground with my sword out of reach, pushing against the darkspawn to keep it from killing me. _My dagger_ , I try to bring my leg up but every time I do I begin to lose leverage. _Fuck_! My arms are starting to grow tired from the strain. As they start to give out I feel blood spray on my face and the head of the Hurlock falls away from its body. I look up curiously and find Alistair standing over us breathing heavily and smirking at me. “If you are finished lying around we could use some help,” he holds out a hand to help me up.

I study it suspiciously but allow the help. “Thank you,” I say as I walk over to retrieve my sword. I still find it difficult to speak without using the elvhen language.

Alistair ducks and looks up at the sky, “He _can_ be nice and look the world isn’t ending!” I narrow my eyes at him but a small smile escapes me. He smiles at me and moves to check on everyone. It had been a good fight to get to the ruins. I look behind us and see the amount of darkspawn we had killed. The ground seems to be stained black from their blood. Shaking my head at the sight, I turn around to observe the high walls as Daveth fills the last vial with the blood we need. We enter the ruin cautiously and look around for the chest. It isn’t long before I spot a broken chest in the corner. Alistair notices me moving toward it and joins me. We search through the broken pieces but find nothing.

“Well, well, what have we here?” A sensual yet dangerous voice interrupts us. I turn quickly, one hand ready to pull my sword. “Are you a vulture, I wonder?” The woman wears a crimson middrift top that dipped low in the front, revealing a good portion of her pale skin. A double necklace hangs from her throat and an armored skirt with black leather pants sits low on her hips. On her feet are black boots that match her raven hair. One arm had armor covering it and she carried a staff, a mage. She slowly walks down the steps of the ruin and pauses, “Scavengers poking amidst a corpse whose bones have long since been cleaned, or merely an intruder come into these darkspawn filled wilds of mine in search of easy prey?” Continuing down the steps she stops a couple feet in front of us and crosses her arms in front of her, “So which is it, scavenger or intruder?”

“Neither,” I answer as the others stare at her with their mouths open, “We are Grey Wardens.” I study the woman, she seems familiar but I can’t seem to place her.

“I have watched your progress for quite some time.” She drawls out with a sparkle of intrigue in her eyes. Walking around us she moves closer to the woods, “Where do they go, I wondered, why are they here and now you disturb ashes none have touched for some time, why is that?”

Moving forward suddenly, Alistair warns me, “Don’t answer her, she looks Chasind and others may be nearby,” I look at him curiously not understanding his words.

“Oh, you fear barbarians will swoop down upon you,” Morrigan says sarcastically and raises her arms at him as if mockingly trying to scare him.

Alistair’s eyes narrow at her, “Yes, swooping is bad.”

“She’s a witch of the wilds, she is. She’ll turn us into toads,” Daveth begins in a panic. I glance around listening to the bizarre warnings. If she wanted them dead she had the perfect opportunity to catch them off guard and didn’t.

“Witch of the wilds? Such idle fancies those legends. Have you no minds of your own?” she asks as she places a hand on her hip and gestures at me. “You there, handsome lad, tell me your name and I shall give you mine, let us be civilized.”

“My name is Dain,” I say cautiously and slightly bow my head in greeting.

“And you may call me Morrigan, if you wish.” A slight smile appears and she inclines her head in greeting, “Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest. Something that is here no longer?”

“Here no longer?” Alistair repeats and narrows his eyes, “You stole them didn’t you? You’re some kind of… sneaky witch thief!” Alistair accuses her weakly.

“How very eloquent,” Morrigan looks at him in boredom and looks at her fingernails, “Tell me, how does one steal from dead men?”

“Quite easily it seems.” His tone changes to one of authority as he adds, “Those documents are Grey Wardens property and I suggest you return them.” I watch their exchange in amusement but say nothing for now.

“I will not, for it was not I who removed them,” Morrigan turned her nose up at him, “Invoke a name that means nothing here any longer if you wish, I am not threatened.”

“Who did?” I step in between them to try to get the conversation back on track.

“Twas my mother, in fact.” Morrigan said, as if it was obvious.

“Your mother?” the shemlin Jory asks.

“Yes, my mother. Did you assume I spawned from a log?” She slides her amber eyes to his and he cowers a little in response.

“A thieving weird talking log perhaps,” Alistair added under his breath and Daveth chuckles a little.

Morrigan sighs and looks out into the forest, “Not all in the wilds are monsters. Flowers grow here as well as toads.” Suddenly she turns toward us, “If you wish, I will take you to my mother. Tis not far from here and you may ask her for your papers if you like?”

Alistair steps closer to me and speaks quietly, “We should get those treaties but I dislike this Morrigan’s sudden appearance. It’s too convenient.”

I nod at Alistair in understanding. “Very well, Morrigan, lead the way,” I smile and gesture for her to lead.

“She’ll put us all in the pot, she will, just you watch.” Daveth says before anyone can move.

I’m surprised when the shemlen Jory says, “If the pots warmer than this forest then it will be a nice change.”

“Follow me then, if it pleases you,” the witch says with a coy smile.

We all follow her in silence until we come to a cabin near a pond. The sun reflected off the glassy surface of the water and the trees are bunched in close as if to hide the place from intruders. It isn’t much compared to Ostagar but I guess most places couldn’t compare. Standing outside the cabin is a thin elderly woman with messy chin length grey hair.

Morrigan walks up to her and begins, “Greetings mother, I bring before you four Grey Wardens who...”

“I see them girl.” The woman interrupts and observes us, “Hmm, much as I expected.” She says gruffly and my eyebrow rises in surprised approval. The old woman has a bite, it seems.

“Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?” Alistair asks in disbelief.

The woman chuckles at his words, “You are required to do nothing, least of all believe.” She extends her arms and splays her hands, “Shut one’s eyes tight or open one’s arms wide, either way one’s a fool.”

“She’s a witch I tell you! We shouldn’t be talking to her,” Daveth warns us quietly. I’m confused as to what he means by that but I have never been a superstitious type so I ignore it.

“Quiet Daveth, if she’s really a witch do you want to make her mad?” The shem says, looking at him in pity. I don’t understand the needless fear these humans have.

“There is a smart lad!” The older woman slides her wisdom filled gaze over them both, “Sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things, but it is not I who decides. Believe what you will and what of you?” She asks, turning toward me, “Do you possess a different viewpoint or do you believe as the others do?”

I cock my head at her and look her over, “I stand in the middle, hahren.” I say calmly. _She is not what she appears._

“A statement that possesses more wisdom than it implies. Be always aware,” her head cocks in thought, “or is it oblivious… I can never remember… so much about you is uncertain and yet I believe.” She looks off to the side as if searching for something, “Do I? Why it seems I do!” she laughs lightly.

“So… This is the dreaded witch of the wilds?” Alistair says sarcastically and raises an eyebrow at Daveth. My eyes never leave the strange woman. He may see a demented old mage but there is something there. I watch and contemplate her words.

“Witch of the wilds, huh?” the witch says with an amused look, “Morrigan must have told you that. She fancies such tales, though she would never admit it. Oh how she dances under the moon,” she chuckles at her daughter.

“They did not come to listen to your wild tales mother.” Morrigan places her face in her hand in embarrassment.

“True. You came for your treaties yes?” the woman turns and grabs the papers from a chest behind her, “And before you start barking your precious seal wore off long ago. I have protected these.”

“You…Oh you protected them,” Alistair seems honestly surprised the witch would do that.

Her demeanor changes into seriousness, “And why not? Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this blights threat is greater than they realize.”

“How?” I’m confused as to why she assumes they weren’t taking it seriously enough.

“Either the threat is more or they realize less,” She changes back like the flip of a switch and laughs then adds, “Or perhaps the threat is nothing,” she chuckles, “or perhaps they realize nothing!” she sighs, “Oh, do not mind me; you have what you came for.” I look at her trying to understand what she means.

“Time for you to go then,” Morrigan says happily, ready to be rid of us.

“Do not be ridiculous girl. These are your guests,” she nods at her as if to say see them out.

“Oh, very well, I will show you out of the woods. Follow me,” She reluctantly begins to walk us to the woods. I’m the last to follow as I look back at the older witch one last time. Her cryptic words rolling around in my brain, she gives me a strangely kind smile. I turn at last and catch up with the others easily.


	6. THE JOINING

 

When we finally return to the gate and I’m no more relaxed than when we had left, the woman’s strange conversation still rolls around in my head and I’m convinced her words meant something more than she explained. Sighing, I shake my head as we move through the camp to find Duncan. A wave of weakness rushes through me as we come to a stop near the large fire. I hang back a moment to catch my breath. I hear Alistair begin to report what our journey entailed. My vision darkens and I see spots at the corner of my eyes as I try to even out my breathing. After a moment, it clears and everything returns to normal. _I hope we can do the joining before I die._

As I walk up, Alistair begins to tell Duncan about Morrigan and her mother, “There was a woman at the tower and her mother had the scroll. They were both… odd.”

Duncan frowns in confusion, “Were they wilder folk?”

“I don’t think so. They might be apostates,” he turns to us and explains, “mages hiding from the chantry.” I definitely don’t understand the whole Circle nonsense but I nod that I understand what the word means now.

Duncan's expression grows concerned, “I know you were once a Templar Alistair but Chantry business is not ours.” He explains simply, “I will assume we have the scrolls,” we all nod and he continues, “let us focus on the Joining then. I’ve had the circle mages preparing and with the blood you’ve retrieved we can begin immediately.”

Jory cuts into the conversation before anyone can begin to follow, “What exactly does this Joining entail?”

Duncan sighs quietly, “I will not lie. We Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to be what we are.” He meets each of our eyes and the fire flickering within them causes his expression to bring an even grimmer tone to the already dire situation, “Fate may decide that you pay your price now rather than later.”

Jory pales at Duncan’s words, “So you’re saying it could kill us?”

Duncan’s face hardens, “As would any darkspawn you may face in battle.” After a moment his expression softens and he explains, “You would not have been chosen, however, if we did not think you had a chance to survive.”

Daveth steps forward, “Let’s go then. I’m curious to see this joining.”

I nod my head, “I agree.”     

Duncan smiles slightly, “Then let us begin. Alistair take them to the old temple.”

We all walk quietly behind Alistair, each contemplating our own thoughts. I silently say a prayer to Mythal for protection and Falon’din in case I should parish. _I’ll die either way_ , I remind myself quietly, even though I really don’t need the reminder. _I would gladly die if I hadn’t made a vow to Tamlen. Elgar’nan should be my vallaslin now…_

We arrive at the old temple and I glance around. There is no door or ceiling and in some places the walls are so decrepit you can see outside. As soon as we arrive Jory begins pacing. I sigh and lean against the wall, propping a foot up lazily, watching the anxious Shem.

“The more I hear about this Joining the less I like it.” His voice betrays the fear he is feeling. _Creators, this shem needs to go!_ I roll my eyes but refrain from saying anything.

“Are you blubbering again?” Daveth says, annoyance dripping from every word.

Jory stops pacing and faces him, “Why all these damn tests? Have I not earned my place?” I scowl but say nothing. _If it were up to me, I would have put a sword through the arrogant Shem in the Wilds._

“Maybe it’s tradition. Maybe they are just to annoy you,” Daveth answers with obvious frustration. _At least this one gets it._

I shake my head, unable to stay silent, “It is what it is.”

“I only know that my wife is in Highever with a child on the way. If they had warned me I… It just doesn’t seem fair.” _If that was true why would he even leave?!_ I shake my head again. _This guy is an idiot_.

“Would you have come if they had? Maybe that’s why they don’t. The Wardens do what they must, right?” Daveth tries to get him to realize the truth of the matter and I find an inkling of approval for the shem.

“Including sacrificing us?” He asks, as if our lives were too great to lose.

“I’d sacrifice a lot more if I knew it’d stop the blight.” I nod in agreement; _ending the blight is worth any sacrifice_. It affects more than just one group of people.

 _Enough is enough_ , my voice is close to a growl when I speak, “Whining about your situations won’t change them. So how about you shut up about it.”

“Yes Ser Knight, try not to wet your trousers until the ritual starts.” I turn my head and try my best not to laugh.

He sighs and looks at his feet, “I’ve just never faced a foe I could not engage with my blade.” I roll my eyes at the Shem and try to keep from saying anything. Luckily, I succeed as Duncan decides to walk into the room.

Somberly walking across the floor of the old temple he begins, “At last we come to the joining,” he stops at a table that holds a goblet and the three vials of darkspawn blood and turns toward us slowly, “Grey Wardens were founded during the first blight when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation.” walking forward a few steps, his voice turns grave, “so it was that the first Grey Wardens drank the darkspawn blood and mastered their taint.”

The shemlen Jory visibly pales as Duncan explains. His response was stammered, giving evidence to his fear, “We’re… going to drink the blood of those… those c-creatures?”

Duncan’s nod seems to be a nail in the coffin to the scared knight as he visible shakes, “As the first Grey Wardens did before us,” he turned to Alistair, nodding in respect to his fellow Warden, “as we did before you. This is the source of our power and our victory.”

Alistair steps forward, “Those who survive the Joining become immune to the taint. We can sense the darkspawn and use it to slay the archdemon.” Watching the secrets they hide unfold makes me want to laugh but I stay silent. Not many would willingly give their lives for this and I understand that.

Duncan raises his head confidently, “We speak only a few words prior to the Joining but these words have been said since the first.” He gestures as if to give Alistair the floor, “Alistair, if you would?” I watch from my perch on the wall as Duncan turns and pours one of the darkspawn blood filled vials into the goblet.

Alistair’s voice is oddly somber, devoid of his usual natural humor. I bow my head respectfully, taking his words to heart and stand beside him. “Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn and should you parish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you.”

Holding the goblet reverently Duncan turns toward us, “Daveth, step forward.”

He looks over at me with a cocky smile, “Well here goes nothing, eh Dalish?” I nod at him respectfully and he looks at Jory who is still pale. Without further hesitation he takes the goblet and drinks the blood inside then hands it back to Duncan. With bated breath we await his body’s reaction to the taint. He stands tensely for a moment, suddenly clutching at his head and grunting in pain he bends forward. Jory backs away as Daveth’s head tilts up, a cry of pain escapes him and his eyes open, no longer the color of golden brown but revealing pure white eyes. Fear crosses his features as he falls to his knees and one last strangled cry flies from his lips before he slumps to the ground, dead.

Jory’s eyes widen, “Maker’s breath!”

Duncan’s head bows in sorrow at the man’s body, “I am sorry, Daveth.” He moves silently back to the table and pours the second vial into the goblet. Tuning he looks at the Shem, “Jory, step forward.”

Jory’s face is pale and he is sweaty. He backs away from the goblet fearfully and glances around as if searching for a way out. “But… I have a wife!” His eyes dart around frantically and he draws his great sword as Duncan approaches him, “A child! Had I known…”

“There is no turning back.” Duncan’s words are firm and final, his expression calm acceptance. Intrigue holds me still as I cock my head, wondering what will happen.

“No! You ask too much! There is no glory in this!” He shouts but his words wobble from fear. Duncan sits the goblet on the table carefully and turns back to Jory. Drawing his own sword he moves to meet Jory’s. One ring of steel then another calls into the approaching night, followed by the grunt of sword meeting tender flesh as Duncan impales the shemlen. My eyes widen at the display but I can't really say I'm surprised by the outcome.

“I am sorry.” Duncan whispers to him as his body slackens against Duncan and he gently lays him on the ground. “The Joining is not yet complete.” His words seem to be laced with sadness but I calmly step forward as he retrieves the goblet, “You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good. From this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden.”

I gently take the cup from Duncan with a small smile; _finally this is the moment I have been waiting for._ Hope surges through me as I bring the surprisingly heavy goblet to my lips, _vengeance and a chance to find Tamlen are only a sip away._ The goblet is cold and it bites into my lip but I tip it upward. The smell is gross and the black liquid rushing toward my open lips makes my stomach roll, persevering I swallow it down quickly, trying not to gag. The pain in my head hits immediately. I clutch my head and take a jagged breath. It feels as if someone is reaching into my brain, trying to rip it apart. I fight against the wave for a moment, grunting in pain. Suddenly my head whips up and my vision is white, fear rolls though my body but as quickly as the white appears it rolls away and darkness appears. As my eyes adjust to the change, I feel my muscles lock up at the sight before me. Chills run through my blood as my eyes widen at the massive black dragon that stands and flaps its giant wings, roaring menacingly. The Archdemon. The fear I held washes away as an overwhelming urge to rush toward it and kill it replaces it. As if hearing my thoughts, it turns its head and looks right at me. In the next moment the scenery changes the evening sky greets me. I blink in confusion as the feeling of stones biting into my back and Duncan and Alistair kneeling over me slowly brings me back to reality.

_I’m alive! I made it!_

Duncan’s concern seems to melt away as I blink in confusion at them. “It is finished, welcome.” Duncan and Alistair stand, giving me more room to breathe for a moment. I sit up slowly, soreness spreads across my entire body. _Creators, I feel as if I’ve been kicked by a herd of Halla._

“Two more deaths,” Alistair shakes his head in sadness, “In my Joining, only one died but it was… horrible.” A smile crosses his face as he meets my silvery eyes, “I’m glad at least one of you made it through.” His smile is tinged in sadness but his words are honest. I slowly get to my feet, muscles balking and shaking slightly, stretching my legs in an attempt to work the soreness out.

Duncan interrupts my stretching with concern. “How do you feel?”

My laugh is genuine, “Well, I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore.” I stretch my arms over my head languidly. The stiffness and soreness are passing swiftly and I feel far better than I had even before losing Tamlen. _After fighting with them to end this blight tomorrow I could find him!_ My heart soars at the thought.

Alistair’s face fills with confusion, “Dying? You were dying?” When neither of us answers, he sighs, “Fine, don’t tell me. At least tell me if you had dreams? I had terrible dreams after my Joining.”

“Such dreams come when you begin to sense the darkspawn, as we all do. That and many other things can be explained in the months to come.” Duncan smiles at me kindly and I find myself smiling in return, happy that I will finally be able to help Tamlen.

Alistair retrieves something from the table, missing my smile, and returns to us, “Before I forget, there is one last part to your Joining. We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant, something to remind us… of those who didn’t make it this far.” He hands me the small necklace and I turn it in my hands carefully.

“Ma serannas,” I say knowing Duncan knew the translation but not caring if Alistair did. Serious thanks should come from the heart and my heart will forever be with the Dalish.

Duncan moves forward and places a hand on my shoulder, “Take some time. When you are ready I’d like you to accompany me to a meeting with the king.”

Shock runs though me and skepticism leaks into my voice when I ask, “What kind of meeting?” _Why would I be needed for a meeting with the king? I literally just became a warden._

Duncan’s expression takes on a contemplative tone, “The king is discussing strategy for the upcoming battle. I am not sure why he has requested your presence.” All three of us must have the same questionable looks on our faces at that moment. Duncan gives me the directions to the meeting and I agree to meet them there. I watch as they leave and walk over to the table, touching the cold goblet reverently. _Thank you, Mythal. I’m thankful to be alive and to get the chance to find Tamlen. I wish I could tell Merrill._

Thinking about the two of them, I pull out my journal and touch the Halla. Looking at it I realize there is a stem sticking out and suddenly remember the sick Mabari. I shove my journal back in my pack and rush down the stairs. Luckily, Duncan and Alistair are not in the immediate area to see me running like a crazy person to the pens.

Panting, I reach the Mabari healer whose face lights up happily at my return, “Hello there! The Mabari is stable for now but not improving.” His face falls slightly and his tone sounds sad, “Unless I get that herb I told you about there’s not much hope.”

I smile happily, still feeling euphoric from surviving and being given the chance to find Tamlen, I pull the flower from my pack. Handing it gently to the man I ask, “Is this the right one?”

“Let me see,” as his face lights up in joy, one of the knots in my stomach loosens, “Yes, that’s it! Wonderful, give me a moment and I’ll make this into an ointment!” I watch as he grinds ingredients together and mix them up quickly, wondering how they keep everything straight. After a few minutes he takes the small jar into the Mabari’s cage. Long minutes pass but finally he returns. “He looks better already! I’m sure he’d thank you himself if he could!” The man practically radiates joy at this development and I smile.

My smile falls slightly as worry replaces it, “What will happen to him now?” I look at the closed door of the Mabari’s pen trying not to think about the intelligent animal in pain.

“We’ll give him a day or two, see if he comes around.” He says in a hopeful voice. His face turns thoughtful as he looks me over. “Perhaps you should come by after the battle and we can see about imprinting him on you?”

The man’s excitement gives me pause but his words make me think. “You think it’s possible?” None of the other Dalish kept Mabari’s. _Could I even take care of one?_ I don’t want it to be abandoned...

“Maybe, it’s likely he understands you’re responsible for saving him. Mabari’s are at least as intelligent as your average tax collector!” I can’t help the small chuckle, even though I have no idea what a tax collector is, “Come back after the battle and just, take another look.” I pause but the more I think about the idea the more I like it.

I nod, “Okay, I’ll come back afterward and take a look.” The soldier beams at my promise, “I must go but I will return.” Giving him a small bow, I turn and begin to walk away.

“Thank you again for the herb!” He calls after me and I glance back in his direction, nodding in recognition of his thanks. I’m not sure why the animal moves me so much but a smile spreads across my face as I move through the camp.


	7. The Battle of Ostagar

THE BATTLE

After selling some of the equipment I had recovered while in the Wilds and buying some scraps I needed, I found a relatively quiet place to repair my armor. The familiar process of mending the armor had been strangely calming and allowed me to get my head wrapped around the fact that I was now a Grey Warden. It was exhilarating to know I wasn’t dying anymore. Having nothing left to do I make my way to the meeting with the shemlen King. I didn’t want to wait any longer to begin planning for the battle we would face tomorrow. Excitement rushes through me at the thought of finally facing down these creatures so I can focus on finding Tamlen.

I walk up a set of stairs as the sun begins to set and stroll into a ceiling less room whose bones show that it had once been grand. Pillars, now broken and weathered by time, lined the broken tiled and grass strewn floor. My silent steps lead to a map and strategy filled long table, surrounded by the shem King, Duncan, and three others I have yet to meet. As I approach, I nod to Duncan who stands with his arms crossed and returns the gesture. I realize the King and one of the other shems seem to be in the middle of an argument so I stay silent, leaning against a nearby pillar.

“Loghain, my decision is final. I will stand with the Grey Wardens in this assault.” He raises his hands and slashes them in a line, indicating he is finished with the argument.

The shem Loghain points at him in a scolding manner, “You risk too much Cailan! The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines!” His exasperated tone sounds as if he has been arguing this point many times before now.

The King’s eyes narrow, “If that is the case, perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us after all.”

“I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesian’s to defend ourselves!” _The shemlen’s ways of making a strategy for battle are strange._ I observe silently, still trying to understand how this race isn’t extinct yet.

The King stands up straighter with authority in his voice. “It is not a fool notion. Our arguments with them are a thing of the past and you will remember who is King.”

Loghain steps away from the King and pinches the bridge of his nose obviously trying to calm himself. “How fortunate that Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand over Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century.”

“Then our current forces will have to suffice, won’t they?” The King turns from Loghain as if in dismissal and looks at Duncan, “Duncan, are your men ready for battle?”

He uncrosses his arms and nods respectfully, “They are, your Majesty.” I watch the shems strange meeting in confusion. _How do they maintain order if they always fight each other?_

The shem finally notices me leaning silently against the pillar, “And this is the recruit I met on the road earlier?” He asks but doesn’t wait for confirmation, “I understand congratulations are in order.”

I slightly nod my head in acknowledgement, “Thank you, your Majesty.” I stand up in a show of respect I don’t have for the man before me.

“Every Grey Warden is needed now. You should be honored to join their ranks.” I nod. _I do feel honored to fight the blight that is spreading the land but that doesn’t mean I fight for the Shems who would sooner kill my people than look at them._

“Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We need to attend to reality.” Loghain sighs and I find myself agreeing with him, _the King needs to focus or we all might perish in the battle._

“Fine,” the King sighs and leans over the map on the table, “speak your strategy. The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn into charging our lines and then?”

Joining the King, the shem runs his finger over the map as he speaks, “You alert the tower to light the beacon, signaling my men to charge from cover…”

The king interrupts, “To fight the darkspawn, I remember. This is the tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes? Who shall light this beacon?”

He looks up at the King in confidence, “I have a few men stationed there. It is not a dangerous task but it _is_ vital.”

The shem King’s brow knits together in worry, “Then we should send our best.” He looks over at me and then to Duncan. “Send Alistair and the new Grey Warden to make certain it is done.”

The shems anger shines upon his face as he looks at the King incredulously, “You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?”

The King shakes his head, “Enough of your conspiracy theories, Loghain, Grey Wardens battle the blight no matter where they are from.”

Duncan steps forward, worry is evident in his eyes. “Your majesty, have you considered the possibility of the archdemon appearing?”

Loghain glances over at him, “There have been no signs of dragons in the wilds.”

The King looks up at Duncan in confusion, “Isn’t that what your men are here for Duncan?” _Shouldn’t they have a plan for everyone, just in case?_

Duncan’s worried look deepens, “I… Yes, your majesty.”

A man in mage robes steps forward and with an indignant tone says, “Your Majesty, the tower and your men are unnecessary. The Circle of Magi…”

Another woman in strange robes I have never seen before interrupts him with an icy tone, “We will not trust any lives to your spells mage. Save them for the darkspawn.”

Loghain raises his voice at them, “Enough! This plan will suffice. The Grey Wardens will light the beacon.” I want to shake my head at the whole charade but know it would be rude to do so. _I still can’t understand how these shems retain control of Ferelden_.

“Thank you Loghain.” The king closes his eyes in what seems like happiness, “I cannot wait for that glorious moment when the Grey Wardens and the King of Ferelden battle together to stem the tide of evil!”

As Loghain walks away he pauses, “Yes Cailan, a glorious moment for us all.” I feel my eyes narrow at his tone. His words are seemingly innocent but the undertone sounds very threatening. Based on the others calm reaction I assume I am the only one who heard him at all. I sigh and shrug as the King steps closer to Duncan and I.

**********

Gathering around the large fire with Duncan and Alistair I rub my temples, attempting to rid the headache that had pestered me all night and the following morning from listening to the shemlen King fawn about how grand the battle will be after the meeting had concluded. _How he manages to lead Ferelden without major casualties is beyond me._ We had spent the day preparing for battle and this is the first time I had seen the two of them all day.

Duncan’s voice pulls my attention from my pounding head, “You heard the plan, you and Alistair will go to the tower of Ishal to ensure the beacon is lit.”

Alistair visibly starts at the news, “What?! We won’t be in the battle?” His face falls in sadness.

Duncan’s face shines with sympathy for them, “This is by the Kings personal request Alistair. If the beacon is not lit Teyrn Loghains men won’t know when to charge.” I have to give him credit for attempting to make our new orders sound better than they are.

Alistair’s face hardens, “So he needs two Grey Wardens standing there holding the torch just in case, right?” A small smile appears on my face, _it is a ridiculous job for a warden._

“I agree, it’s a waste of two proven fighters, Alistair, but they are our orders nonetheless.” I sigh and meet Duncan’s eyes, “Where is the tower?”

Duncan smiles at my words and begins to explain, “You will need to cross the gorge, head through the gate, and up to the towers entrance. From the top you will overlook the entire valley. Alistair will know what to look for.”

I nod, “How long do we have?” I look at the sun as it has already begun its descent in the dark cloudy sky, _looks like they’ll be fighting in a storm._

“The battle will begin shorty. Once I leave, you will have less than an hour. I must join the others. From here you two are on your own. Remember you are both Grey Wardens and I expect you to be worthy of that title.” He gives us a warning look and we both nod our understanding.

“Duncan,” Alistair says as Duncan begins to walk away, “May the Maker watch over you.”

“May He watch over us all,” he smiles seriously at us both and walks away.

Watching him walk away I can’t help but worry about him. Knowing it won’t help I turn and follow the directions he had given us as a bolt of lightning crosses the sky.

The darkspawn’s trebuchets had already begun their relentless assault on the bridge as we begin to cross and our archers line the bridge sending their own attacks back. As we pass a trebuchet it suddenly explodes, sending its operators flying over the edge and slamming Alistair and I forward. I gasp as I pick myself up and see Alistair rushing to try to aid them.

Moving quickly, I grab his arm and shake my head sadly, “They are gone…”

He frowns but nods tightly, “We need to cross and get to the tower.” I nod and we quickly run the rest of the way off the bridge. Still jogging we see a soldier breathing heavily and yelling at a mage.

“Help, they’re everywhere! They’ve taken the tower!” Noticing our approach and the soldier rushes toward us, “You! You’re Gray Wardens aren’t you? The tower! It’s been taken!”

Alistair’s confusion is clear on his face and I can feel a similar expression on my own as he asks, “What are you talking about, man? Taken how?”

“The darkspawn came up through the lower chambers! They’re everywhere! Most of our men are dead!” The soldiers panicked words cut into me but I take a deep breath, trying to think of a plan.

I look at Alistair with a shrug. I don’t know the layout enough for a detailed plan so I decide to wing it, “Shit, we’ll have to fight our way in.” I turn toward the mage and the soldier, “You two, come with us!”

Alistair nods in agreement, “We’ll have to light the beacon ourselves,” rushing forward through the courtyard we are soon met by a band of darkspawn. I unsheathe my sword quickly and parry a blow from a Hurlock as Alistair runs passed me. The darkspawn in front of me roars at me instead of attacking and without hesitation I run my blade through its brain from underneath its chin. As it falls to the ground, I run to assist Alistair. Darkspawn after darkspawn attack us on our way to the tower. My armor is slick with their black blood and my sword is sticky in my hand before we finally make it to the towers entrance. Panting I turn to Alistair who moves to the side of the door, I nod and he throws open the door. Thankfully there’s nothing there.

“Makers breath! What are these darkspawn doing ahead of the horde! There wasn’t supposed to be any resistance here!” Alistair pants in bewilderment.

I chuckle and try to find a clean spot to wipe my hand off. “You could try telling them they are in the wrong place!” Finding a small patch on my leg, I hastily wipe my sword hand as clean as I can.

“Right, because this is all just a misunderstanding. We’ll laugh about this later!” He shrugs and sighs, picking up the shield he had leaned against the wall, “At any rate we need to hurry and get to the top of the tower to light the fire. Teyrn Loghain will be waiting for the signal!”

“You’re right, let’s move!” I pick my sword up, with a decently clean hand, and move into the tower.

The darkspawn have piled up the furniture in the room and lit it on fire in an attempt to funnel anyone who came in. I drop into a crouch and move forward slowly, sensing enemies ahead. I blink, startled by the knowledge. _I thought it would take longer for me to start sensing the darkspawn!_ I shake my head at the sensation and motion for the others to move around an obvious trap when a roar sounds ahead of us. _They spotted us!_ We rush forward and I lose myself into the thrill of action, blocking and thrusting, learning to fight as a team with Alistair. _Surprisingly we fight well together_.

Three sets of stairs and about a hundred darkspawn later we stumble upon another set of stairs. A groan escapes me as I lean against a table. _This tower is never ending_! I look over at the other, various degrees of exhaustion displayed on their faces.

I sigh, realizing they need a leader. “Come on we need to hurry,” I push myself from the table trying to look optimistic, “We’re almost there!” The three men look at me in disbelief but they each shoulder their weapons and nod to me. I climb up the stairs and open the door rushing into the room. We all freeze at the sight before us.

 _What in the Creators? Shit!!_ I look at Alistair in confusion.

He gasps and yells, “Ogre, be careful!”

The massive ogre looks back at the racket and turns with a roar that sends spittle flying nearly clear across the room. My ears ring painfully as I raise my sword and run toward it. The creature moves to try to catch me but I slide underneath its hand and slice into its palm, effectively pissing it off. Alistair, running right behind me, cuts deeply into the other upper arm. Roaring at the sudden assault it rakes its hand and slams me into the nearby wall, knocking the breath out of me. My vision darkens for a moment but nearly immediately returns. Standing, a little shakily, I try to orient myself. I see the ogre pick up the soldier and toss him on the ground, stomping on him. Seeing an opening, I run forward as fast as I can and launch myself at the giant creature, slamming my sword up to the hilt through his heart. His roar dies as he falls to the ground, taking me with him.

I stand and look at Alistair, chest heaving. _I can’t believe we made it!_ Remembering our purpose, I run to light the signal fire, sure that we had missed the signal by now. I smile at Alistair, who happily returns my victorious smile with one of his own.

“Good work! I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it there for a minute!” The mage who had fought with us says as he moves toward us with a smile.

We all chuckle and our muscles begin to relax when the door suddenly bursts open.

 _Shit!_ Dozens of darkspawn spilled into the room, the three of us instantly ready our weapons. I start to rush forward when suddenly a sharp pain blooms from my shoulder, ignoring the sensation I block a blow from a genlock and decapitate it. Another pain spreads through my abdomen and I finally look down, the sight of two arrows greets me causing me to gasp. _I won’t go without a fight._ I raise my blade in defiance as one last arrow pierces my flesh with such a force I fly off my feet. Gasping, my vision begins to blur. The last thing I can make out as I try to sit up is Alistair fighting to reach me before the darkness embraces me.

*snippet from Duncan’s view in the battle*

Duncan walked away from his charges with a heavy heart. He was happy they would be safe from the battle but he knew they would have preferred to be there. Soon however, worry for the men who would actually be in the battle takes over. If the archdemon decided to appear it would prove to be a much harder battle. Duncan shook his head and tried to clear his mind as best as he could. Worry would get him nowhere and he needed to be as focused on the battle as he could be. He stepped onto their chosen battle field and met the eyes of as many of the men and women prepared to die for their cause as he could, giving them a reassuring nod as he passed them.

“The plan will work, your Majesty.” His words were meant more for the crowd of scared men and women than they were for the glory seeking King.

“Of course it will!” The Kings head rose in confidence as he surveyed the approaching glow of the darkspawn’s torches, “The blight ends here!” The men and women close enough to hear cheered their agreement, causing the others to join as well.

The darkspawn slowly appeared at the edge of the tree line and paused. Duncan knew they were awaiting orders from the archdemon but their unity was still unnerving. He frowned as the gathered darkspawn roared and growled at them, impatient to attack. The Mabari’s answered them with their own deep growls and barks, eagerly awaiting their handler’s orders to attack. Suddenly the darkspawn began to rush forward. The pounding of their feet seem to be punctuated by the thunder that rolled through the night.

King Cailan shouts through the noise, “Archers!” The designated archers raise their drawn bows to aim and light the ends of their arrows, pausing to await further orders. The king signals with his hand and yells, “Lose!” A storm of fire arrows slice through the air and rain down on the darkspawn, killing hundreds. When the arrows cease, the King yells, “Release the hounds!” Duncan watches as the Mabari’s paws dig into the dirt, increasing their speed and unhesitatingly throwing themselves at the enemies before them. Pain filled roars and yelps fill the night as they meet.

Finally, Duncan unsheathes his sword and meets the Kings eyes. With a smile on his face the King shouts, “For Fereldan!!”

Charging down the hill with a battle cry he meets a gunlock head on and plows through him. His dagger and sword ringing through the night air with purpose as he stabbed and slashed at all the darkspawn he could reach.

Seconds turn to minutes, his breathing became labored and he wasn’t sure how much time had passed but he knew they were being overrun. Parrying a blow from another genlock effortlessly, Duncan sliced into it and turned back toward the King. More darkspawn had managed to cut in between the King and Duncan.

Continuing to fight he began to wear down, exhaustion finally beginning to catching up to him. He finally dispatched the last of the darkspawn between him and Cailan and moved toward him, still a good distance away, when a deafening roar sounded through the den. A massive ogre stomped onto the battle field moving straight for the King. Duncan shouted to the King but the sounds of battle were too loud. Desperately he began to move toward him but another darkspawn appeared between them suddenly, a cry of pain escaped him as its blade sank into his abdomen as the darkspawn sneered in satisfaction at his pain. Barely managing to raise his blade, he beheaded the foul beast and pulled the blade free with a gasp. His blood began to spill down his armor as he stumbled toward the King, slipping on the blood slick grass and fell on his knees. He could still fight he had fought through worse. He tried to get up but he was too late. The King had saw him on his knees and had moved toward him as if to help when the ogre reached out and picked him up. Duncan saw the confusion on Cailan’s face as he was lifted into the air. The Ogre roared in his face as it squeezed, pulverizing the Kings torso easily. Duncan froze in shock, not the king. He had failed. Where were the reinforcements? It was passed time for them to be there surely! He looked up and saw the tower lit. Why weren’t they here? He shook his head and looked back at the ogre as it tossed Cailan’s corpse carelessly in front of him. Anger coursed hotly down his veins as he stood, ignoring the pain in his abdomen. He drew his dagger and griped his sword in the other hand, breathing steadily he ran towards the ogre. Catching it off guard he stabbed it in the chest with both sword and dagger. The momentum of his attack sent the beast sprawling backward. Duncan rolled over its head and ran back to it, he stood above the creature pulling the dagger from its chest and plunged it through its throat, slashing sideways.

Exhaustion and blood loss forced the Grey Warden to his knees as he crawled toward the King. Failure, the Teyrn had abandoned them all. He held the Kings body as his own began to grow numb. His men littered the battle field and he was responsible. He had trusted the wrong man apparently and they would all pay for it. He looked up where the tower of Ishal stood; hoping the two who had lit the fire would somehow survive. Another shuddering gasp escaped his chapped lips as the rain began to fall.

A roar ahead of him drew his eyes; slowly his mind processed the image moving toward him, a darkspawn, no, a Hurlock moving quickly with something in its hand. An axe? He felt his eyes grow heavy and a sigh of release flew out of his mouth as the, thankfully, sharp axe bit into his neck. Then the sweet embrace of nothingness as his life’s blood seeped into the already saturated grass.


End file.
